We find it convenient to hide our emotions in order to avoid exposing our vulnerability in front of others. Emotional suppression won’t cause any problem until you are dealing with it in a healthy and productive way. It may sound contradictory but in certain situations, it’s important to keep your emotions to yourself in order to restore calm. When in crisis or celebrating a triumph, one must learn to keep such powerful feelings in control for professional reputation. Therefore, knowing when to take charge of our emotions and when to let go is very important.
Have a look at these 8 ways to manage emotions
1. It is not enough to feel sometimes
If we are used to repressing our feelings, we try not to express them. But this can be harmful as it becomes very difficult for us to deal with it later on. As we go on following this practice for a long time, the feelings pile up and we find ourselves strangled in a pool of emotions making us feel low and hopeless. Our values and our background play a significant role in how we express our emotions.
Consider that a member of your family is moving away, you may find yourself in an emotional state – upset, sad, and frustrated. But having these emotions isn’t just enough, it’s important that you express them. How you express it depends on your cultural values. Tell them you would miss them, or make some special efforts for them before they move. That’s a way to attend to your emotions that signal you.
2. One must learn to think about the way one feels
Imagining yourself in others shoes is the absolute way to know what one must be going through in certain situations. It is not difficult to understand others. Try giving all ears; observe the situation and then react.
We simply don’t need predictions or judgements for others’ feelings. The ability to share and understand others’ emotions is known as empathy. This guides us to understand the person and respond accordingly in situations for helpful behavior. For example, in work situations, if we are paired up in a team, we first understand each other which makes the process faster and easier as we become more trustworthy. Also, it helps in overcoming troubles.
3. Emotions could be wild and reactive/negative
When you are facing any emotions, they can’t be just removed, they must be replaced with good thoughts, pure memories, and things that are lovely around you. Hold on to these things and meditate on them. Negative emotions are a part of our mental game, it keeps playing the situation in your mind in repeat mode and doesn’t allow you to think rationally.
Also, we see the situation and remember it the way we want, the way our emotions let us remember it. The more we perpetuate our emotions, the more it prevents us from enjoying our life. But that doesn’t mean we have to get rid of them quickly, otherwise, we will shove them and make our situations worse. Running away won’t help, instead, learn to deal with the process in a healthy way.
4. Validate what you feel
At some point in our life, we need someone who could validate us. Who doesn’t like to be praised? Or appreciated? But not always can we depend on others for validation, it’s important for us to know our worth. Relying on others could bring a lack of self confidence in us and their opinion starts to matter more, which leads to no trust in our own thoughts, our process, our feelings, or our judgements.
Rather encourage yourself to be a better person. Know your strengths, weaknesses, flaws, and mistakes. Prioritize yourself by accepting your feelings. Because not everyone wants to understand you, and others’ opinion of you shouldn’t really matter anymore. You are amazing the way you are, just trust your instincts.
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5. Tame your emotions, and know the right time to react
On a regular basis, we humans face multiple emotions like stress, anger, and disappointment. But do not let these temporary emotions take control over you. Life is about the way we react to situations and only 10% is what has actually happened to us. And those reactions are often not rational. Take a deep breath, sip some water, or go for a walk and then choose to respond. Some of us might have learned the hard way that it’s important to think twice before speaking. Learning how to express our emotions is a lifelong process. So don’t feel disappointed when stuck in a situation, trust the process and most importantly, be patient.
6. Emotions come and go
It’s a good thing that emotions come and go. Who likes to feel the same way constantly? Why keep on crying because of temporary emotions when you can actually laugh out most of the time. When you least expect it, certain feelings come back because they were not really faced in the first place, even when you try to fight them. If something is lingering through, it is definitely coming back.
Try running all you want from the situation, but it’s not going to escape if it’s truly in your heart. May it be love, passion, or hatred. Sometimes while facing emotions we don’t have control over our thoughts or what we speak. Our emotions are triggered and we react unconsciously. It’s important to know what we are going through, only then will we have control over what we are going to say.
7. Tentative emotions have a long-lasting effect
You might have heard people saying ‘heat of the moment,’ it’s quite a dangerous thing. Well, in the moment, the emotions that you are facing can make you do vulnerable things – you may feel great for time being. But what about the regret? Or consequences of your decisions? Do you think before you act? Possibly no. And if you don’t, you will probably regret it later and many times over the year. Because you don’t know what you will say and do in such a situation and whom you are hurting with your words.
8. No one really understands
Sometimes it feels like “I don’t need anyone, I am independent and others’ opinion of me doesn’t really matter.” Apart from that there are situations when you are hoping someone could understand you and that you could feel better about yourself. However, when they don’t, it makes us feel lonely. Being left alone is not what we want, but being misunderstood by others makes it even worse. And that’s when we start guarding ourselves against others, we interact less and speak defensively.
It leaves us nowhere but being misunderstood. And the cycle keeps on continuing. With our loved ones, we expect them to understand what we are trying to say because they know us better than anyone. We expect them to anticipate our needs before we even express them, or take care of us even if not asked. No one really is a mind reader and that is what we don’t understand. For someone to understand you, it is important to express how you feel. And as a result we end up saying “no one understands me.”
Give yourself a little kindness and accept your emotions. It means that you notice, identify, and understand them without causing any judgment towards yourself and how you feel. It takes a little practice to react well to an emotional situation. But expressing in a good way will make you feel proud with a positive transformation. This will guide you to situations where you will know what is important and what is worth paying attention to. Understanding and articulating emotions help in overcoming challenges and developing stronger emotional health towards others and for ourselves.
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